Dreaming awareness

Driving and couldn't control my car

i slid into a place that i was fearful of - the thought of "i have nothing... my car is totaled. I have nothing."

i sat there in this embankment realizing that i hadn't taken off the brake.

foolish and destroyed, defeated and whithered.

i was aware of my stomach. all the numb pain was there.

snow fell around the car and i did nothing.

as i sat there completely useless, just then 4 men hurry into the 2 seats next to me in the back seats where i sat there motionless in the middle.

the other 2 men got in the front seat and passenger's seat. they were yelling to each other to hurry and leave before anyone saw and to help get me out of the mess.

i felt safe. numb and absolutely helpless but safe with these men.

Has it really been that long?

Really? 2012?
That was a long time ago, and itʻs nearing 2014... Well, itʻs time then.

An overview:

Matt and I moved to Pittsburgh where the land is filled with bridges and yellow. Yes, home of the Steelers, Pirates and Penguins, thereʻs a lot of yellow and black swimming around.

It has itʻs perks. The food,

green trees

and roller coasters... oh wait, those are roads. Yes, the ridiculous roads, windy and slanted, they give me anxiety thinking I could be driving on them come winter-time.
Thank you Justin and Carrie for your photo to demonstrate.

Matt came first to our townhome in March as I followed in April. 

I and transferred here to the Banana Republic, a YMCA teaching yoga, kids yoga and Pilates, and currently, have one piano student. Matt has enjoyed his job at Clean-up Fire and Water (minus the fact that he has to shave, yes, I am equally disappointed since now it looks like I am married to a 19-yr old). 

June 6th, our lives changed though. "The test came back positive" sang the nurse to me. It was true, I was pregnant. Iʻve never done this before. This is a new one to hear directed to me. It wasnʻt until the 22nd we actually found out there was TWO swimming around in there. There they were with the ultrasound and all in their own little apartments, Matt and my fraternal twins. Surprised, we were. Excited? Um... Iʻm getting there. Itʻs a little nerve-racking holding 2 living souls inside of you for the first time. Iʻll get there though. 

Due: February 14, 2014.