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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A head, heart and stomach! See! Stomach doesn't even start with an H!

Oh- the clouds will come out TOMORROW! Brush away the hint of sunlight and thought of shadows 'cause there's none!!! TOOOOO-MORROW, TOOOOO-MORROW, I hate ya, TOMORROW, another grey day away....


So we had some sunshine last Thursday I think.

Here I am in February and I can't seem to shake this cloud over my head.
Maybe it's time to go tanning... Just once or twice so I can feel some sort of vitamin D. I haven't felt it in a very long time and it seems almost a sin that I would continue through another month of dreary and cold.
Along with my skin, my stomach hasn't been up to good working order. My skin may have something to do with it. But then again, it can't be my skin's shortcoming. Where do I point the finger?
I convince my mind that it is in control at times or maybe it's my hearts that choses to carry most emotion I don't want to show. It might begin at those places, but I find that our bodies then take over and provide most the agony. My brain might think negatively and worry about movements in mine and other friends' lives that I cannot control. My heart might beat heavily to ache for others or love anyone who'll let me. But, it then is transported through-out my body and in turn, feels the affects of the confusion taking place. My shoulders tense, legs shake and become weak, my stomach proceeds to despise all foods because food now means "not understanding" from the same way her head and heart has led her to believe... they certainly don't live similar time-periods.
"It's your fault" my insides scream!
Pain.
Exhaustion.
My body didn't come-up with these words but, oh! how they rage in my core!
Seclusion.
Sadness.
My stomach is as far away as it can possibly reside and wants no part to what my brain's businesses and my heart's hurts.
Yet, here I am... an upset stomach in every sense of the word and every thought-about-it.

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