Cultivate the living

I open my eyes bitter that the morning sounds of my alarm found me before I could solidify my dream. Waking up is what I need to do though, and there I was, only habit, and grabbing my phone, wallet and car keys. Shuffling down the dark hallway, my eyes having a hard time adjusting, "AJ!" The exclamation wasn't as loud as my head throbbed I'm sure.


"Yeah?" The reply came; as if she didn't know why I'd be yelling for her...

"It's time to go!" Matter-of-fact I called back.

Shwump! I slid the toaster lever down with her bagel in it.

Voosh! I opened the fridge... GAH! Bright light... Cheese stick, mandarin orange... a small grumble of "she didn't make her sandwich"...yogart...Bryers makes yogurt? Had no idea... 5:45..."hmmm, this is when we're supposed to be leaving..." I butter and honey her bagel, and wrap it up in a paper towel.

Beeps sound as I take the alarm off, unlock the door, and roll my eyes as Kalee stretches herself as slowly as possible; then proceeds to rub against my leg purring to try and get me to follow her towards her food bowl. Annoyed, I tell her forget it and I'll feed her later. Alright, so, I lied, but I didn't think twice about it while grabbing an "Ensure" drink and drug my body toward the car. I opened the door and very heavily thumping myself into the driver's seat.

"This is going to put me coming back late again..." I thought grudgingly to myself.

Finally, Aubrie came out carrying her portfolio and school belongings. Hurriedly slumping all of her belongings in the back seat and by her feet and sat next to me looking as cute as ever with her straightened hair. "I bet that reminds her of Japan." I admire her hair and thought to myself.

She asked what I had done last night and I proceeded to tell her how nervous I seemed to be in teaching this institute class. At the same time though, I am so relieved to be back into my old skin again. I'm teaching and studying about the gospel again! I have something to look forward to and that was refreshing! Before I fell asleep last night I felt inspired by new ideas and what to teach on and about in my class, and stayed up a little longer just to write them down. Talking to her, I realize how free I'm feeling. I'm single again. I have all the confidence in the world to do whatever it is I want to do. I'm not tied to any possibility or avenue. My adventure is sprawled-out in front of me!

My thoughts are there to roam again.

I have nothing BUT time.

I recalled my dream. I was in the back of a Jeep Cherokee and the thought came, "I have the option of being happy. I can be happy. I have every right to be happy."

I felt it again talking to Aubrie.

We eventually got to the church and saying good-bye told herthat I love her. I never want to miss saying that. Her life is so precious to me. Simultaneously, I was so grateful for the time spent with her. What a great opportunity! I got to talk and listen to AJ everyday before she went to school. What am I doing wasting time not talking to her about loving and cultivating life as I know it to be?! What am I learning? What am I teaching?

She grabbed her book bag and was closing the door. "Aubrie, remember when you told me about how you liked madrigals a couple of years ago and that the girls weren't as bad as you thought they were at the time? Think about that for your Senior year. You'll want to look back at it and want to say you had a great time your last year."

Now it's your turn Aubrie to teach me something tomorrow.