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Monday, September 21, 2009

Levin, Amanda, Ansley

" "My funeral," the Blue Man said, "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came. Why? Did you ever wonder? Why people gather when others die? Why people feel they should?
"It is because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.
"You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
"It is why we are drawn to babies..." He turned to the mourners. "And to funerals."
..."I still don't understand, " Eddie whispered. "What good came from your death?"
"You lived," the Blue Man answered.
"But we barely knew each other. I might as well have been a stranger."
..."Strangers, " the Blue Man said, "are just family you have yet to come to know." "
- The Five People You Meet in Heaven
Rain pours through the sounds of typing fingers, beeping copiers and rustling of the papers. It can't penetrate through the numbness or the helplessness I seem to feel right now. I find it the most ironic that I was recently reading this passage, and today heard that a married couple friend of mine got into a car accident where his wife, and the baby she was pregnant with, died. I first read the email in complete denial, not believing what had happened a couple days previous. Memories of past friends who also have lost their lives in car accidents, suicides, strokes, heart attacks, brain aneurysms and other casualties flashed into my mind; Obituaries and articles of recent and years-passed of those who have slipped only into their spirits...
Levin, cradle your living Ansley. You both will need to draw the strength from the living as well as the great Unseen.
Words seem so trite, and I'm sorry they're the only tools I have. I'm sorry the experiences I have lived will never will fill your heart with the comfort or peace you truly deserve. It's more than I know, and more than I can fathom to do. The pain and realities you perceive and endure are far beyond myself and I leave them into the hands of the One who can lift, carry, touch and heal. I feel I cannot do more, neither can I do any better than pray fiercely for your heart to be pieced together with the love and unconditional faith that presents itself better now visually than ever imagined.
God, please hold Amanda tightly, and Levin even closer.